Sunday, December 31, 2006

Dr. Laura on Sex as a Commodity

Prompted by the sale of the domain “” for $12 million, Dr. Laura penned this column on the commodification of sex. Now normally I try to avoid Dr. Laura altogether. I find her lack of insight into… oh… reality to be frustrating. There’s no reasoning with that, there’s no rebuttal that would make her think twice about what she’s saying, there’s no reason to bother driving myself crazy over it. But this particular piece was delivered to my inbox by the Woodhull Freedom Foundation, and when they send something I know it’s worth a read.

And it was. It was full of her usual vitriolic blather about people who have sex without total emotional commitment and how we’re causing society’s downfall – and normally that would cause me to start tearing at my hair and spouting facts about sexual abuse in marriage, but this time I was able to take it all in stride with a bemused smile on my face, all because of this line:

“[…]check your local University course handbook and you’ll find courses in perversions and pornography presented in as positive a perspective as anti-United States politics!”

I admit it, I had to read it a few times to be sure of what she was saying. The first time I read it, I snorted with laughter, then kept reading. A few lines down, I thought to myself, “self, there’s no way she would actually be saying what you think she’s saying.” So I went back and read it again, and tried to give her a little more credit. The third time through I realized it was no mistake: Dr. Laura thinks universities are full of PERVERTS and COMMIES!

(Well, she probably meant “anti-United States politics” to mean “those evil Middle-Eastern countries that don’t want to be homogenized” and not “those damn reds.” The message is the same, though.)

Knowing that Dr. Laura is stuck in a cold-war anti-intellectual mentality made it a lot easier to handle the rest of the piece, which included comments like

“While males and females are physiologically and temperamentally quite different creatures; women into nesting, bonding and nurturing, and men into conquest, providing, and protecting, they are quite similar spiritually.”


“How did this begin? […]I think it obviously starts with birth-control”

And, the worst:

“Well, I’m here to tell you that this experiment has failed. Nobody, except the perverts, pedophiles, narcissists and sadists are happy with sex becoming a commodity.”

to which I would just like to say: She forgot masochists! Some of us get off enormously on being sexual commodities. Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but I think your average middle-American, Howard Stern watching, church-going, beer-drinking Joe benefits quite a bit from the commodification of sex. As do many other people, of course, but the rest of them are all perverts and commies and should stay in their universities and leave the rest of us alone.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


You know about her decade-old hypocrisy, right? The readily Google-able topless pix? Quoting Patty Duke in "Valley of The Dolls": "Boobies, boobies, boobies!"

But I was unaware that "Dr." (M.D.-not) Laura was still a factor on radio. To my detriment, I continue to underestimate the hateful right.