So, things have been a little crazy...

I worked a two-week stint of ten-hour days -- and as soon as that was over, I had a convenient couple of days of to move into (drumroll, please...) my new apartment! The last several days have been a flurry of moving and shopping for accouterments (like an absolutely beautiful set of dishes that I decided to splurge on a little, since hey, I'm going to be eating off of them for a while) and opening a bank account here (since at this point it's pretty clear I'll be here a while) and getting internet installed and having online Ikea dates with the Beau to pick out our furniture and... it's been a little overwhelming, but also very gratifying.

Meanwhile, I've missed out on commenting on all kinds of things -- especially the Supreme Court's unfortunate decision to uphold the Partial Birth Abortion Act as constitutional, and North Dakota's trigger law (which will make abortion illegal in the state immediately upon a reversal of Roe v. Wade, heaven forbid). At this point, pretty much anything I would have said has been said. It's all fucking terrifying.

In much better news: Massachusetts has joined the list of states which will decline federal money for abstinence-only programming! Way to go, Deval. We knew you could do it.

Over at Eden Fantasys, my review of the Swinging Pendulum has gone up, as well as an article I wrote for them about Phthalates and sex toys -- check it out!

So: my apologies for the dearth of posts, readers dear. Things ought to get back to normal around here now -- I hope -- for a few weeks at least!

(also: HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my favorite veggie connoisseur!)

Abstinence-only programs don't work? Shock!

Bloglandia is abuzz this weekend with the news that a federally funded study of “abstinence only” sex education programs found that they are not effective in reducing sexual activity or increasing age at first sexual activity amongst young people. The study, by Mathematica Policy Research Inc., followed participants from four abstinence-only programs as well as young people from the same communities who were not receiving structured sex education. It is by far the largest study that has been done on the topic, looking at more than two thousand students in cities and in rural communities and conducting long-term follow up research. The four programs studied were chosen because they were supposed to be the “all-star” programs. The federal government spends $176 million funding abstinence-only sex education programs annually (and approximately, oh, PRACTICALLY NOTHING on comprehensive sexuality education). Put it all together into once sentence and this is what you get:

A federally funded study has demonstrated that the government is spending $176 million annually on abstinence education programs that are ineffective while refusing to seriously fund other, potentially more effective comprehensive programs.

This is big news, right? And yet, somehow, it got buried. It was released late on a Friday. There was hardly a word about it on NPR, and major media outlets like the New York Times and CNN have only posted the AP story (the Washington Post does have a staff-written story up, and it’s good). The Bush administration immediately went into spin-control mode, as evidenced by a soundbite from Harry Wilson, a top official at the Administration for Children and Families: "This study isn't rigorous enough to show whether or not [abstinence-only] education works." Clearly this administration wouldn’t recognize rigorous research if it bit them on the ass – I’m suddenly reminded of the rigorous research (read: forged letter) that served as evidence enough for us to start a war in Iraq.

The Medical Institute for Sexual Health, a pro-abstinence organization, released a statement about the report in which they claim that the “small and unrepresentative study sample” (of the programs, that is, not the participants) and “methodological issues” mean that “the study findings provide an insufficient basis for policy decisions.” Clearly, no evidence will ever be enough for these people. They would much rather look to the results from tiny, poorly conducted studies that make their programs look good.

Meanwhile, the researcher at Mathematica who was in charge of the study is quick to point out that the students receiving abstinence-only sex education were no less likely than their peers to use protection when they began having sex. According to the AP article,

“Trenholm said his second point of emphasis was important because some critics of abstinence programs have contended that they lead to less frequent use of condoms.”

In actuality, I think it’s fair to point out, most critics of abstinence-only programs contend that they lead to less frequent use of condoms compared to comprehensive sex education. From what I can tell, this study didn’t examine where or how the control group students were getting their sexual information. No one expects young people to just spontaneously use condoms – that’s why we have a responsibility to educate them about risks and options and consequences with all of the information in our arsenal.

Like I was saying, though: this is big news, despite the fact that it isn’t getting the attention it deserves. The major funding program for abstinence programs is going to expire in June, at which point Congress will have to consider whether or not to renew it. This study gives proponents of comprehensive sexuality education all the evidence they need to get some changes made. Big things are on the horizon, kids. Us sex educator types might actually be able to get jobs some time in the next 5 years!

speaking of sex educators: photo by the brilliant and beautiful G. Reichert !

The Youth Sex Crisis

This is a quick taste of a longer, more analytical post to come.

I'd like to bring two news stories to your attention.

First, in New Hampshire, parents are protesting an edition of the high school newspaper whose organizing theme was "Sex". The content, which the editor said had "been edited and re-edited for content and delivery, keeping in mind that the job here is to inform, not shock," contained an article about lesbianism and a quiz with a question about (GASP!) anal sex. In the AP article, one parent comments that "I thought it was a vile, disgusting piece of pornography I wouldn't want to be in front of children, let alone paid for by taxpayers."

Meanwhile, four 5th graders in Louisiana have been arrested on charges of obscenity for having sex in an unattended classroom. A fifth student has been arrested and charged with being an accessory after the fact. The students were 11, 12, and 13 years old. This comes on the heels of an incident in Indiana where two 6th graders had sex in class with a teacher present -- a case which the school tried to hush up.

Setting aside for the moment how completely and utterly ridiculous it is to arrest 12 year olds for having sex, maybe we should use these two news stories as a reminder of something we seem to forget as a culture: young people are curious about sex. They have been forever. It's normal. Maybe if we tried talking to them about it instead of making it a taboo, adults-only topic we could make their exploration a little safer, healthier, less public, and maybe even a little less hands-on.

Sex in the News: Rhythm Method Woes

Now birth control can be as easy as not having sex two weeks out of every month! We no longer have to worry about -- wait, WHAT? No sex for half of every month?

You've probably heard of the rhythm method. Young people often receive a simplistic version of this complex birth control method i.e. "A woman can count the days since her last period and not have sex around the 14th day, which is when she ovulates." The method is often joked about -- after all, this is the only form of family planning approved by the Catholic Church. How many married childless Catholics do you know?

Of course, not all women ovulate on the 14th day, and (when practiced correctly) the rhythm method is a lot more complex than just counting days. The sympto-thermal method of family planning (which has evolved from "counting days") requires a woman to wake up at the same time every morning to take her temperature (called basal body temperature), monitor her cervical secretions, and keep a fertility calendar. During her two most fertile weeks of the month -- which other research suggests is when she'll want it the most -- the couple must abstain from sex. A recently released report on a German study reveals that, when practiced properly (one might say "religiously"), the method has a .6% failure rate, which is comparable with hormonal birth control.

But according to this article in the Scientific American, failure rates for normal couples are actually much higher. I know, I know, you're shocked. You thought that young women, some of whom can't even remember to take their pill at the same time every day, would simply jump at the chance to get up early on weekends and get all up-close and personal with their lady-juices. Not to mention the fact that it's a good way to get out of sex for half the month -- more, if you don't have sex during your period -- since, of course, women don't actually enjoy sex.

Okay, I'll be serious. The thing is, if you're willing (and have the leisure) to be diligent about it, fertility awareness is a great option. It means you don't have to put hormones into your body -- and the environment -- in order to effectively avoid getting pregnant. Fertility awareness over long periods of time is also of use when it comes to intentionally getting pregnant. I'd even go so far as to argue that charting her fertility can put a woman more in touch with her body and her sexuality. This is a family planning method that deserves a place in the adult birth control arsenal. For the average person, though, this isn't going to be the right option.

So, what do we tell the kids? Not the kids, so much as the teens: a book called Cycle Savvy: The Smart Teen's Guide to the Mysteries of Her Body, which describes fertility cycles in detail, is stirring up debate among proponents of comprehensive sex ed. Some argue that giving teens too much information about their fertility cycles will lead them to have unprotected sex on days the believe they are "safe". Others say that young women should be given as much information as possible about their bodies, and support the book. Cycle Savvy doesn't go into detail about fertility charting or discuss in detail which days are less fertile. It contains no reference to any day of the month being "safe", and encourages young people to always use protection, describing fertility planning as a useful tool for adults.

All of that being said, I have a confession to make: as sex-educated as I am, I still consider the rhythm method when having sex. Not the fancy sympto-thermal method, either. I wouldn't say it's my primary birth control method, but I usually find myself counting days, as in "okay, I'm on day 15 of my 24 day cycle, what are the odds I'll get pregnant if something goes wrong?" And when I was younger, there was a point in time -- before my 17th birthday, when I went on the pill -- when I did use the so-called rhythm method as my sole form of birth control. If I'd had this book to explain to me just how complicated fertility awareness really is, maybe I'd have thought twice. I fail to see how arming girls with solid information about their own bodies could ever be a bad thing.

(small but significant) Victory for Sex Ed in MD

In Maryland, Superintendent of Schools Nancy S. Grasmick has issued a decision to go ahead with the field testing of a new sex education curriculum -- one that discusses homosexuality in a fairly neutral light. Her decision came in response to demands from three organizations demanding a halt to the field tests. The new program is opt-in, i.e. parents have to sign a permission slip to allow their children to attend, but apparently that precaution isn't enough for some bigots people.

The field tests will lead to a Montgomery County school board decision on whether or not to go district-wide with the new curriculum in the fall.

Topic previously discussed here.

Linkage: Bad Vibes, Sex Ed, Veggie Love and More

Tristan Taormino's Pucker Up column has tackled the subject of phthalates in Dangerous Dildos (Part 1, Part 2). I like that she makes the distinction between "adult novelty" manufacturers and those who proudly craft and sell sexual aides:

When you look at the phthalate issue in a larger context, what you see is the current split within the sex toy industry between old-school adult novelty makers and new age sex-positive toy companies. The former are stuck in a model of "get it as cheap as you can from China, make it look like a penis (that's what women want, right?), and spend as little as you can on packaging." Toys from these companies scream, "Who cares if this looks good or actually works? No one's going to return it or complain, they'll be too embarrassed. Besides, it's just a dildo," reinforcing people's low expectations and shame.

In the article she mentions the Coalition Against Toxic Toys (badvibes.org). Their shopping guide gives fabulous advice for how to spot potentially hazardous toys -- take it with you on your next trip to the toy store!

At Mother Talkers, a group blog of "Rants and Raves on Modern Motherhood", Amy has written about her nephew's experience with public school sex education. Recounting a conversation between mother and son:

"What have you learned?" my sister asked.
"I learned about AIDS. That if you have unprotected sex, you get AIDS and die. But Mom, I don't even know what unprotected sex is. What is protected sex?"

Meanwhile, Oakland teens got so sick of cheesy sex-ed videos that they made their own:

The 15-minute movie was written, acted, filmed and edited almost entirely by students from East Oakland's Fremont Federation, a campus with four small high schools. With a hip-hop soundtrack and multidimensional characters — such as a peer educator who makes some poor decisions at a party — it was clearly made with its audience in mind.

The Condom Project has received support from the school district and had its premiere on Valentine's Day.

A Guardian piece discusses why rape charges so seldom lead to rape convictions in great detail, including the way stereotypes about women, previous sexual activity, and alcohol consumption on the part of the victim all contribute to the dismissal of the vast majority of rape cases. The whole thing goes right back to the Wilson case: why is the media championing this young man who was captured on film having sex with a semi-conscious woman? I'd really like to see some REAL journalism on the subject -- what evidence led to his acquittal on the rape charge? Did the alleged-victim recant, or was it simply a case of his word against hers? The whole thing makes me feel sick to my stomach.

HIV vaccine testing made the AP newswire this week. The article discusses how the test is being done on sex workers in the Dominican Republic. Since Phase 2 of the vaccine trial requires that it be tested on high as well as low risk groups, sex workers and injection drug users are obvious subjects. The tests are also being conducted in Haiti, the United States, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Jamaica and Peru. Merck, the company running the tests, is walking a thin public relations tightrope: If the trials are successful with no extreme adverse effects, they'll be heaped with praise. If something goes wrong, though, the papers (and eventually the history books) will be filled with scorn for the exploitative nature of the testing. HIV vaccine testing is a double-edged sword, but the impression that I get is that researchers are being as scrupulous as they can be in this inherently exploitative situation. Probably more to come on this soon.

The inaugural post is up on Veggie Love, the brand-new blog of my ever beautiful and brilliant roommate! Go check it out, and be jealous -- she cooks for me. Yeah, it's awesome.

Great Moments in Sex Education

I’m a sex educator, but that hasn’t always meant that I’m as careful as I should be. Just like pretty much every other young person I know, my high school self was convinced that she was invincible. As the following story demonstrates, though, by the time I was a sophomore in college the sex-ed message had taken hold.

“Your tits look amazing in that dress,” Virginia said breathlessly, leaning in to me. It sounded so vulgar; coming out of her mouth, that only made it hotter. She had shown up to the party in a black silk slip with a black ribbon around her neck, next to which her skin was that perfect shade of creamy white you always hear described in smutty stories. Her flask was tucked into the lace at the top of her thigh-high stockings. She looked amazing, and she was paying attention to me. My cheeks felt hot. “Your tits look amazing.” How was I supposed to respond to that? “Thanks! Want to go upstairs and do it?” No, no. I didn’t want to scare her away. Everyone said Virginia scared easily when it came to relationships.

I waited until she turned back to the entertainment – drunken college a Capella – before resting my hand on the base of her neck. I traced a pattern there with my fingernail. She shivered. I stopped, just in case I was annoying her, but she pulled my hand back to her neck without even looking at me.

By the time the party moved upstairs to my bedroom I was drunk and desperate to get her out of that little black slip. On my bed, in front of a room full of people, she was taking off my borrowed stilettos and kissing and biting her way up my leg. The rest of the room was oblivious until Virginia reached the back of my knee – and sucked on it. Hard. Let me tell you, if you’ve never had the back of your knee sucked on, you’re missing out. I gasped and cried out, and the entire room turned to look – and then left. Quickly.

I flipped Virginia onto her back, kissed her mouth – hard – and her neck, pulled the straps of her slip down over her shoulders and touched and kissed as much of that creamy white skin of hers as I could manage. She was breathing hard. I was in heaven. I couldn’t believe my luck in having this beautiful, brilliant creature underneath me. I kissed her thighs, slid my hand over her underwear, moved my mouth higher and started to pull the damp material away from her body. My heart was pounding. I’d been looking forward to this moment for months, ever since she’d pushed me up against a door and left me with a hickey that no amount of makeup would cover.

“Wait,” she said, reaching a hand down to stop me. “I have my period.”

I think I laughed. Of course she had her period. “Me too,” I said, letting out a deep breath. I felt like someone had popped my balloon. There’s always a risk of STI transmission during oral sex on a woman, but when there’s blood present that risk is much higher. And did I have any dental dams? Or even a non-lubricated condom for turning into a dental dam? Oh no, that would just have been too convenient. But I was well past feeling invincible at this point – an STI scare or two had ended my days of unnecessary risk, and apparently this thing with Virginia wasn’t supposed to happen after all.

In the long run, it’s okay with me that she and I didn’t end up having the kind of sex I’d imagined that night. It wasn’t okay with me at the time, of course, but I know I made the right decision, because finally – in college – I had gotten the kind of sex education that I should have gotten years before.

Scarleteen, a website devoted to promoting sexual health among young people, provides the exact kind of sex education that young people should be getting. The fact that it’s run independently means that it isn’t subject to the kinds of restrictions that many other youth sex ed sites are (although still subject federal “decency” regulations), but it also means that the entire site is completely donor-funded. So, if science-based, realistic, respectful and intelligent sex education is important to you, please consider making a donation!

Your Chance to Support Comprehensive Sex Ed!

On Friday, Rep. Barbara Lee (D-CA) will introduct an Act that would create the first federally funded comprehensive sexuality education. The Responsible Education About Life (or REAL) Act would fund science-based, medically accurate, age appropriate health education in public schools. Consdering the fact that $1.4 Billion has been wasted on Abstinence-Only programs with no proven track record, I think it's about damn time for a change. Don't you?

Advocates for Youth has made it incredibly easy for all of us busy young people to support the act. Just follow the link to urge your Representative to co-sponsor the bill. It takes two minutes -- which, if you're like me, is time you'd probably otherwise spend stalking people's away messages or facebook profiles. This is really historic legislation, don't miss your chance to get in on the action!

PS: Sexual Evolution has its own Myspace page now. Be my friend?

Sexuality Education: Our First Line of Defense Against “Pornotopia”?

Here’s how I feel about the complex issue of pornography:
I like it.

I’m not ashamed to like porn. I don’t feel like watching porn has had any ill effects on my life, my self-esteem, my relationships or my intelligence. In fact, I would join with many who’ve come before me (pun not intended, I swear!) in stating that there’s a lot of good to be had from porn: it can help a person learn about different kinds of sex and become more comfortable with sexuality, and it’s a great way to explore a sexual interest (or fetish) that would otherwise be difficult to pursue.

There are those who feel that the pervasive way in which pornography has infiltrated pop culture is having a negative effect on our lives and relationships (and in case you couldn’t tell, I’m putting it mildly). In a 2006 article in the Walrus which extensively quotes Pamela Paul (author of “Pornified: How Pornography is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families”), Charles Foran has a lot to say about pornography, but in particular he is concerned with “newly sexualized youths, who may never recover from being consumers of its distortions.” Foran’s particular argument is that jerking off to “women and men, most of whom are performing lewd sexual acts before a camera because they are poor or damaged” leads to a lessening of human sympathy. “Porn,” Foran states, “may yet be the death of empathy.”

Setting aside for the moment my disagreements with the arguments that Foran and his anti-porn counterparts make, lets look at the ways in which the porn-ruins-our-lives problem can be solved. The typical response is to censor pornography. The degree to which pornography should be censored has been debated, but legally in order for material to be considered obscene it must offend community standards of decency. What counts as “community” in this constantly-connected age is a tricky question, but generally speaking most pornography passes muster. And, as the author of Defending Pornography argues, censoring pornography because some people find it morally indecent breaks with the freedom of speech our constitution guarantees us. I may not like the porn you watch, but I will fight to the death for your right to watch it.

So we’re not going the MacDworkinist censorship route. What’s the next plan of attack? In Pornified, Paul argues for a “censure-not-censor” method of attack. According to Paul (and many who think like her), the media glorifies pornography, making it seem sexy and “hip” to like porn. If light was shed on porn to demonstrate that it is, in fact, “harmful, pathetic, and decidedly unsexy,” it would fall out of favor and its effects would be curtailed. And, simultaneously, we would be returned to the days when pornography was the domain of shame-faced men carrying brown paper packages, hiding their sexual interests and living in fear of the label “pervert.” As I’ve already mentioned, I like porn. I’m not ashamed of it, and I refuse to ascribe to any scheme of things that would have me feel ashamed of it. Just as not all porn is fun and sexy, not all porn is harmful and pathetic.

What if, rather than trying to ban pornography or make people who use it feel bad, we give people the information and emotional tools they need to use pornography in a healthy, positive way? More than that, what if we make it a goal of comprehensive sexuality education to specifically address concerns raised by pornography? If we’re concerned that pornography is making young men disrespectful of their female partners, we should make meaningful and respectful communication skills a part of the curriculum. If we’re worried about the effect porn is having on young women’s self esteem, we should stress self-respect. We should be absolutely and explicitly teaching consent. How can we teach young people how to say and hear no, as well as yes, in an abstinence-only system? Likewise, we should be emphasizing mutual affection as a major factor when choosing sexual partners. A good sexual health education program would address all these topics without the prompting of our apparent pornography-induced relational breakdown.

The anti-porn pundits are often heard to bemoan the over-sexualized nature of our culture, and especially its youth. Whether the mainstreaming and popularity of pornography is a symptom or the cause, the fact remains that pornography is not going away. The adult industry is $10 billion strong. Pornography ushered in the age of VHS, and the technology the porn industry uses will be the technology of the future (personally, I think Sony just wrote Blu-Ray’s obituary, but that’s beside the point). The way to handle the effects of pornography on society is to respond pro-actively, by giving young people the power to make responsible, informed decisions and conduct their sex lives with empathy and respect.

Peer Sex Ed in China

A college student in China has written a sex ed manual for her peers, based on her own knowledge and experiences and those of friends. From this article:

"I got the idea to write a sex education book for college students three years ago when I saw many schoolmates begin to get involved in love affairs," Wang told the Xinhua News Agency. "However, many of them are almost illiterate about sex , so pornographic websites, and magazines became their sex teachers."

The hand-written manuscript was passed around to friends, parents, and teachers, and apparently created quite a stir. The young woman's parents were less than pleased. I admire her initiative -- there's no information about sexuality, so she put it out there. I have to say I'm also a little jealous of her audience. The students at my Alma Mater are so sex-saturated. It's often hard to convince them that just because they've seen lots of porn, or they have no problem talking to their friends about sex, they don't necessarily have all of the information they need.

Diamond Lee Person, and some nerdy academic sex links

This is the only substantial article I could find on the murder of Diamond Lee Person, a transwoman in Washington DC. Person's partner has been accused of the murder -- her body was only found after a 7-11 burglery led police to his apartment, where they discovered Person's body. This should be NEWS. How can anyone act up about violence against transpeople if they don't know it's happening? Here's an article from the Southern Poverty Law Center about violence against transpeople.

Willful Ignorance

If we want to change the toxic sexual culture on our nations’ college campuses, we need to start looking at the sex education our high-schoolers receive.

The New Prudishness

A resolution for 2007: No more punditry about our "oversexed" culture.

Pap Test, a Mainstay Against Cervical Cancer, May Be Fading Thanks, C!

[...]a newer genetic test that detects human papillomavirus, or HPV, which causes cervical cancer, is starting to play a bigger role in screening. And other genetic tests are being developed. At the least, some experts say, women will no longer need Pap smears as often.

New Bill Proposes Parents Choose Kid’s Sex Ed

House Bill 311 would require a school district to obtain written consent of a parent before the student could take sex education. Currently, all Texas students take sexual education unless a parent requests otherwise. Under the bill, all parents would have to make a choice.

Sex Ed, Lady Farmers, and Thinking About Dogs

A couple of interesting sex ed tidbits: First, the Montgomery County (MD) board of education has approved a controversial new sexuality education curriculum which discusses homosexuality, but not its origins. The curriculum has detractors on both sides, with some saying that it doesn't go far enough in protecting LGBT students at the school and other arguing that "Absolutely nothing is allowed to be said that is negative about homosexuality." Which, as we all know, is a travesty. It sounds to me like a step in the right direction, particularly if they decide to include a phrase which points out that mainstream medical and mental health organizations have concluded that homosexuality is not a disease or mental illness. Still a long way to go, sure, but any step forward is a good one.

Then, over at RH Reality Check, Andrea Lynch writes about a decade of federally funded abstinence-only education. My favorite part:

"Newsflash, folks: your mom has had sex, and so will your kids."

This post over at Feministing caught my eye: Apparently the number of women farm operators has increased 13% since 1997. Farming as a feminist issue: just another reason to run a small-scale farm someday.

And lastly, when your mind is consumed by important thoughts (like which city to move to), Raven of Questionable Content has the answer: Think About Dogs.

Pizza, Drinking and Sex

HAH! From ifilm.com to my blog, for your viewing entertainment.

Just Say YES! to Sex Education

This Washington Post article, about UMD Human Sexuality professor Robin Sawyer, has my heart all a-twitter. How totally awesome. I kind of want to be this man.

A young man asks Sawyer about timing intercourse around a woman's menstrual cycle, the so-called rhythm method of birth control. Sawyer resists the urge to ask what decade the young man is living in.

"What do you call the woman who uses 'natural' family planning?" he responds. "Mommy."

Not that I'm knocking the rhythm method -- if you're a mature settled adult willing to work hard at your contraception, good for you. Not for me, though.

Back to School gets Sexy, Intersexuality, and Lesbians Do It Right

The New York Times Magazine printed an interesting piece today on the "back to school" sales push that condom companies do on campuses. Here's a link to the Trojan Sexual Health Report Card mentioned in the article.

The Times Magazine also printed an interesting, well-written and fairly balanced article about the treatment of babies born with disorders of sex development (intersexuality). I might write more on this in the coming week. Thanks to Dan for the tip.

And finally, researchers have told us what we knew all along: women are more likely to orgasm during lesbian sex. Surprised? Me neither. Finding a man who knows that intercourse isn't the only way to have sex is like finding the baby in the king cake. (via Fleshbot)

Edit: Okay, it's actually way more exciting than finding the baby. What was I thinking?